D’var Torah Vayera

Now Abraham and Sarah were old, coming on in years… (Genesis 18:11)
Our verse is the first time the Torah uses the word "old" (zaken).
In his book Et Zikna, Rabbi Yosef Ẓvi Rimon notes that there is an apparent difference between the approach of the Talmud and Zohar to the issue of aging.
The Babylonian Talmud [Arachin 19a] quotes the Sage Ḥizkiya, who cited the popular saying: "If there is an elderly man in the home, there is a burden in the home; if there is an elderly woman in the home, there is a treasure in the home." Rashi explains the intent of the popular saying to be that an elderly man is a burden, since he does not help with housework, while an elderly woman is a treasure, since she still assists in domestic chores.
In contrast to the Talmud, Zohar states "We have learned: When there is an elderly man in the home, it is a good sign in the home." [Zohar Ḥadash, Breishit 34:2] On the face of things, Zohar's comment is contradictory to that of the Talmud.
Based upon Rashi's exposition, Rabbi Rimon explains that the Talmud does not state categorically that the presence of an elderly man in the home is negative. The meaning of the Talmudic statement is that since men were not used to doing housework, their presence in the home in old age creates the potential of their being a burden. In contrast, since women regularly did housework, their presence at home in old age is a blessing.
Of course, contemporary reality is vastly different than that of the Talmudic period. In our times, women work outside their homes and many men assist with housework. Nonetheless, "the principle which arises from the Talmudic comment has not changed: as one approaches old age, it is necessary to learn a new 'profession,' both men and women must find new ways to utilize their abilities both within and outside the home. When the elderly man and woman succeed in functioning in a manner suitable to their new status, they can contribute greatly to everyone, adding pleasant light, adding understanding and wisdom, adding Torah and enlightenment." In so doing, the elderly will realize the ideal expressed by Zohar "When the elderly (man and woman) are in the home, the home is blessed." (David Magence)


Shabbat Shalom!
The Va’ad